***A Little About My Journal: I don't like to separate my friends out into different groups, but I understand that some people aren't comfortable with some of my lifestyle decisions. As such I have a separate group for my submissive training. If you would like to be included in that group, even if it is just to read an entry or two, just comment on my latest post. If you are not sure if your in that group already look for a picture post. I don't use real names of my friends and family. I believe in privacy, which is funny because I post pics like crazy! ;P. To keep the confusion down I have created a mini profile for each person of importance located HERE. I hope this aids to confuse you less, although if you were less confused you wouldn't be my friends would you?
I have a unique and somewhat complicated life. Our family contains three separate families of their own. First is the original family containing my ex husband Sage, my oldest Son C4 eight at the time, and myself. To that equation we add mitsuki_chi. She is my girlfriend, "sister", best friend, and one time lover. Sage, C4 and she live together now and yes I am OK with this. Mitsuki and I maintain a platonic relationship now and we are still best of friends although right now we are each going through our own personal demons.
In 2005 after Sage and I parted ways I met Poppy and The Sorceress. I tried to start another relationship not realizing I was rebounding hard. True to her name the Sorceress wove a spell that convinced me that Mitsuki didn't love me anymore and then she convinced Poppy that I didn't want him, and all this after I found out I was pregnant after trying for nine years with Sage. Poppy left me for her and at three months pregnant I became suicidal.
In march of 2006 I met my Soulmate and I wasn't even looking. I had given up on life in general and although I was pregnant I had stopped eating. I decided to have one last bit of fun and go to Non-Con. There I met gaerfindel and my life changed in the course of three days. Gaerfie showed me that real Gentleman do still exist.
Gaerfie took care of me when I was sick and about that time the baby starting kicking and I realized what I almost lost. Gaerfie helped me get back to eating right for the baby and The Gnome was born with no problems. Then he helped me bring another bundle in the world a year later Katydid.
Poppy came back and tried to make right what he did to The Gnome and I. He and Gaerfie had a talk and they both realized after much fighting that The Gnome needs them both. Now they work together to help raise a fine Son.
My Oldest Son C4 couldn't have been more happy to have two siblings. He showed no bitterness at all towards them. He is most helpful especially when Gaerfie, who has epilepsy, is in need of support to care for the kids. I couldn't have asked for a better Son then C4.
I am a Wiccan, though I really don't harmonize with nature. Don't get me wrong I love Winter and Autumn, but not Spring and Summer. The bugs and the heat turn me off. I was born in the Fall so I guess it makes sense. I am very week magickly speaking in the Spring and Summer too. I am a Libra and a Rabbit which is a match made in Heaven or Hell your choice.
I am a proud Kitchen Witch! Everything I cook has a magickal touch. Even the most mundane items such as my "Sloppy Joanne"(Mac and Cheese and Sloppy Joe mixed together), which is my most popular dish, has a special taste to it. I cherish my gift from the Goddess. My Goddess of choice is Aphrodite. My Soul mate gaerfindel believes in Thor, God of Thunder. It is a bit scary when he gets angry, because he truly channels the God it seems, Also the length of his beard matters.
My life contains BDSM. I have a submissive personality by nature I have had many Masters and Mistresses and not all were great. I had some cruel ones who just wanted to hurt me physically and mentally. If anyone tells you that the D/s life is all about just whipping the crap out of someone they are dead wrong and have no idea what they are talking about. It's about allowing someone to dominate you because you want them too. It may sound strange, but it is actually the sub in the relationship who has the power, because she can say no anytime she wants. That's the true meaning of being submissive.
I suffer from bouts of depression. I am suppose to be on medications, but sometimes I can't afford them. I am not suicidal thankfully, but I do try and hide from the world in my computer room. because of recent financial problems I am unable to sleep at night and I sleep all day which means my children and gaerfindel don't see me. I don't eat when I am depressed either. I have to work really hard to come out of a spell and it is twice as easy to go back in. Someday I hope I can learn to live in harmony with depression and not let it rule my life.
she's a free and gentle flower.
So that's my story(and I'm sticking to it). I told you it was a wild ride. I am not yet legally divorced from Sage, but Gaerfie doesn't mind. I know that he loves me and when we can we will get married for real. Meanwhile we are enjoying life and dealing with the obstacles as they come. Right now the worse one is my depression, but with Gaerfie by my side and my wonderful children I know I will be alright.